In The Fight For, for what?
by BoundIrishAngel
Summary: WIP - previously: Unexpected Confidant - Draco keeps being plagued by nightmares and even though there's someone wanting to help, Draco learnt early on to trust no one but himself. Will he be able to open up and accept the offered help? and at what cost?
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** In The Fight For... For What?

**Author**: BoundIrishAngel

**Pairing**: Harry/Draco

**Rating**: K+ - T

**Disclaimer**: Does anybody actually need an explanation on these still? If I were JKR I would hardly be on here... if I were making money with my writings I probably wouldn't be either... get it? I'm just playing with these folks, unfortunately I've to give them back – though I can make no guarantees on their physical or mental states after they are returned! Complaints should be directed to 45 Cloud Street in Heaven, 986532 Paradise

**Warning: **some mention of violence

* * *

><p>Maybe his father had been right to call him weak and a failure.<p>

After all what did he have to show for himself. Here he was locked in a bathroom of all places and of his own free will too. He'd originally spent some time staring at his own reflection until he'd got disgusted with it. Sneering at himself, how idiotic. He'd got so angry, he'd started flinging curses at the wall. His intention had not been to destroy, merely to vent his anger. But as he watched the tiles crack, break and crumble on the floor the destruction had egged him on.

Like a drug he had craved more. He'd turned on the cubicles until they were nothing more than a pile of rubble, then he'd turned to the sinks and mirrors. Now there was nothing left intact. Yet he still hadn't felt any better so in his rage he had physically lashed out at everything around him. Kicking at chipped tiles and cracked wood, not caring when it hurt his feet. Then he'd used his fists to attack the wall. His most stupid action yet, he figured. The pain had been excruciating, only topped by the Cruciatus itself.

His hands were bloodied from it and still hurting but he had stopped noticing it. Having drained his energy, he had sank down against the wall. His knees were drawn to his chest, his head hung low covered with his arms. He had started sobbing some time ago and if he had had any strength left he'd be cursing himself for it. There was no considering what his father would do if he knew. It simply didn't bare thinking about.

Yet as angry, frustrated and disappointed as he was with himself for his behaviour, he couldn't stop it. For years he'd been hiding his emotions, in fact all his life he'd had to have a mask on his face. A mask that would not betray his true feelings, a mask that showed him as superior and in control at all times, no matter what. Well now his mask had crumbled most effectively.

He was so lost in himself that he had not heard the faint mumbled of an "alohomora" from the other side of the door. He did not hear the exclamation of "oh shit" when the other person saw the state of the room. But he did feel the warmth of someone else sitting down beside him and wrapping him in their arms. He froze, unmoving he snapped back to reality and heard the mutterings of "shh it's ok, you're fine, you're safe now..." on and on it went. The voice was oddly familiar, yet too quiet for him to actually recognise.

He wanted to move, to run away and hide. He couldn't let anyone see him like this. His reputation would be damaged forever. His muscles were pulled taught and he thought they would snap any second if he didn't move. But he simply had no strength left and there were soothing hands running up and down his back. It scared him how comforting it felt. He couldn't remember anyone ever holding him, soothing him, comforting him...

Without being able to do anything about it he felt his body relax and as he did the other person seemed to notice as he was pulled tighter against their strong chest. Between the comforting mumblings he recognised a spell and tensed until he realised it was a healing charm. Its effects were immediate as he felt his hands stop throbbing painfully. For a moment he was outraged, how dare they! He'd been relying on that pain to distract him! Then he realised that without noticing it he had stopped sobbing.

He was so confused, he stayed still for a few long minutes. The comforting mumblings never stopped and he found himself unexpectedly drawing strength from them. At long last he carefully disentangled himself from their arms as well as his own. When he straightened up and turned to look at who had found him he froze in shock. "You!"

"Malfoy?" The response was immediate and full of surprise. Obviously the great Harry Potter hadn't know who he was comforting.

"Do you have some sort of hero radar for people that don't actually need your help?" He asked as scathingly as he could but his voice was hoarse from crying and shouting.

His question was ignored and instead he was given one of his own. "What happened?"

He snorted. "Like I'd tell you!"

"You've already lost your pride sometime ago, somewhere between all the rubble." The voice was neither harsh nor pitying, but rather matter of fact with maybe a hint of curiosity. "I'm not here to judge, I'm here to help. I heard shouting and what sounded like a magical fight."

He snorted again and turned his head away. Bloody Gryffindors.

"How about you just pretend for 5 minutes I'm just another Slytherin, Draco?"

He looked up at the sound of his first name. They NEVER used their first names.

"Now tell me what happened? Were you attacked?"

He looked down and shook his head.

"So this was your doing?" Did he really sound astounded?

"Yes." There was no emotion in his voice this time. Was his mask finally coming back?

"Impressive work, although utterly silly of course. Were you trying to vent some anger?"

He shrugged.

"I've never known you to be so quiet. Just tell me alright? I won't rat you out."

Rubbing a hand over his face he sighed. Then he looked at the back of his hand realising that the skin was fully healed and the blood was gone. "Thanks," he muttered grudgingly. He should learn some healing spells he decided, just in case.

"You're welcome. If you're hurt anywhere else, just say."

He froze again, realising that he had just thanked Harry Potter of all people. And instead of a smart come back he'd actually been polite and offered further assistance if needed. What was happening?

To distract himself, he took a long look around the room, taking in the destruction he'd caused.

"Must have been one hell of a bad day for you." Potter commented with a chuckle.

"You've no idea." He replied without thinking.

"Why don't you tell me? Trust me, it helps." Potter was so calm and actually smiling encouragingly at him.

He shook his head to clear it. Then looking at the room again he sighed to himself, "How am I ever gonna fix this!"

There was another chuckle then he saw a wand being drawn and straight away he was making for his own. Only it wasn't where it should be. He checked all his pockets to no avail. It took him another few moments to realise he had not been hit with any spell. Instead the room was slowly being repaired to it's original state. He watched with growing admiration as tiles fixed themselves before finding their place on the wall, sinks and mirrors were mended and levitated to the wall and the cubicle stands were erecting themselves again. They both had to move a little to allow the wall behind them to be repaired.

"How'd you do that?" He asked, trying to cover how impressed he was.

"Magic." Was his answer accompanied with a shrug and a grin. He was about to turn away in annoyance when he noticed Potter holding two wands. One of them held out towards him. "I believe this is yours."

He looked in Potter's eyes trying to find a sign of deceit but there was none. He took his wand, surprised to find Potter putting his own back into his robe.

"You won't hex me. Not if you don't want me to go talking."

He was annoyed with himself for having been so transparent and angry at Potter for such a sly comment. It was far too Slytherin of him.

"Now I suggest you find someone to talk to. I'm here to listen but as you're rather reluctant at least go and find one of your friends to talk to."

"I have no one." He replied before he could stop himself.

"But... you're always surrounded by people." Potter noted with confusion.

"People not friends." Why he was volunteering information, he couldn't tell.

"Your parents?" a careful question.

"Part of the problem."

"A teacher?"

He snorted.

"No teacher then... but there must be someone you trust?"

"Myself... until today that was."

He felt Potter's hand on his back, once again trying to comfort him. He wanted to shake it off but couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead he pulled his legs up again and rested his head on his knees once more.

"My so called friends would leave the moment I stop being useful. They would rat me out if it brought them favour. I have no one. Not even myself anymore. Not after what just happened."

"What did happen?" A gentle, probing voice.

"Isn't that obvious? I lost control!" He hissed angrily.

"But why?"

"You try wearing a mask all your life. Hiding every single inappropriate emotion behind it. Not daring to take if off even at night in case you can't put it on again! You try, having no one to talk to about anything personal..." He could feel his tears threatening again and angrily pressed the balls of his hands into his eyes.

The hand on his back never stopped moving in soothing circular shapes.

"I had no one to talk to until I turned 11 and came here. I know it's not the same but... well I guess I can understand a certain amount. I can't really afford to show much emotion either."

Removing his hands he looked at Potter with surprise and confusion. The-boy-who-lived had no one to talk to?

"Doesn't make for a great hero if you're emotionally unstable, does it?"

It was said wryly and he found himself almost smiling in sympathy.

"I know I turned you down years ago... but if you need someone to talk to now... well I guess... I'm a good listener I'm told." Potter shrugged helplessly.

He was so confused and shocked he didn't know what to say.

"Well... uhm... it's way after curfew, we should probably go."

He nodded in agreement and watched Potter get up and hold a hand out to him. He looked at it for a moment of indecision then took it and let himself be pulled up.

"I mean it." Potter said, when they were standing face to face still holding on to his hand. "If you need someone to talk, I'm here. I won't share what you tell me and I won't judge." He paused for a moment then continued. "If you don't want to approach me publicly then just send me a paper bird or something."

He nodded and then looked down at their hands. Potter let go hurriedly and stepped back a little.

Trying to be unaffected he walked to the door but just as he had taken hold of the handle he paused. Turning to Potter he surprised them both when he said, "thank you. I may actually take you up on that."

Potter grinned madly. "Good! I don't want to fear for my life, thinking you'll be taking the castle apart next. So make sure to do!"

He snorted once again before opening the door. Checking the coast was clear he quickly made his way down the corridor towards the Dungeons, glad to know Potter would have to head the other way.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

**A/N:** Theoretically I have a second chapter to this story but I'm not ready to post it as I don't know exactly where to take the story after that. Right now this can sort of stand alone but after chapter 2 it couldn't.

So if you're interested to read more, review and let me know. Any ideas or suggestions are welcome. :)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** It would appear I've been convinced to continue posting this... I've received some lovely reviews and somehow I couldn't totally leave you hanging. So to everyone who reviewed, this is for you, THANK YOU!

I hope you like this. If you do, let me know. It's the only way you might get more chapters as this story as whole is still on the back burner.

**Chapter 2**

It was quite a few weeks later when Harry felt something poking his side. When he went to check he found a paper bird flittering at his side, occasionally poking him. He immediately knew who it was from and so carefully took it and hid it in his bag. When he looked up and around he found his friends still engrossed in their conversations and food.

He turned back to his own food as well but used the first chance he had to escape, saying he'd forgotten something and would see them in class. Once he was out of the great hall and had walked a few corridors he found a quiet spot and brought the paper bird out again. He unfolded it carefully, anticipating what it would say.

_You've kept your word so far. I will give you another chance to prove yourself._

_Meet me by the lake tonight, after dark._

That was it. No greeting, no sign off. No exact place either. The lake was huge after all, how was he going to know where to go. He sighed and ran a hand through his messy black hair. He was just going to have to be early to try and figure it out. At least he'd been contacted. Though, of course, he wasn't surprised in the slightest that it wasn't a request for a simple meeting but an offer to prove himself. He couldn't help a chuckle at that. Well no matter, he hadn't really expected anything to happen, so he was pleased anyway.

Draco hadn't exactly known either if he would send the bird. He'd written it in the middle of the night after yet another nightmare. Then he'd carried it around for two days before actually sending it off. Now he wasn't sure he'd done the right thing. As it was too late to recall the bird he pushed it out of his mind though. He'd left the great hall a little early to be alone and once he was sure to be unobserved he'd charmed the bird to fly to Harry as unobtrusively as it could. Then he'd walked away, knowing no other would be able to read his note, he'd made sure of that.

He spent the entire day fighting with himself, wondering whether he would go or not. He had more than enough reasons against going and only a few that spoke for it. He knew that if he didn't show up and was questioned for it he could always say he'd been there but Potter had obviously been in the wrong spot. The directions purposefully hadn't been precise.

As the time ticked on he came no closer to a decision. He'd tried busying himself with his homework but he couldn't concentrate for long. His mind kept drifting to that night in the bathroom. Going over what had happened, what had been said, how it had made him feel. It was confusing. He'd spent day after day and week after week pondering it without getting anywhere. Eventually he had enough of trying to do his homework and instead decided to go for a walk.

He'd left the castle, hoping the fresh air would help clear his mind. While it did for a moment, he soon had the same thoughts running in circles again. Still, he kept on walking, paying no mind as to where his feet where taking him. That was, until he reached the lake. As if they knew what he need, his feet had brought him to the exact spot he had thought of where he would, potentially, meet Potter. And now he couldn't seem to get the energy to move anywhere else.

He had spent a long time walking around, the sun was already setting on the horizon. Soon it would be entirely dark. Then he'd find out whether Potter would show or not. He wasn't anxious. Either way he didn't entirely care. It wasn't like he had anything specific to talk about or like he even felt the need to talk. He would just let things enfold on their own and see what happened.

He had sat down with his knees once again drawn to his chest, his arms wrapped around them. It was something he did subconsciously when he was lost in thought. He'd never choose such a weak position. But then, out here in the dark it wasn't like anyone was going to see him. He couldn't tell for how long he had sat with only his thoughts for company but his guard was up immediately when he felt someone poking at the barriers around his mind.

His father had taught him Occlumency and he had been taught well. Even his own father could no longer read his mind. Hadn't been able to in years in fact. It was no effort to shield his mind, it was something he did subconsciously. Feeling the probing of a strange mind he sent out his magic looking for that other person. While his guard was up, he knew he wasn't in immediate danger. If someone had wanted to harm him, they could have done so already.

Finding the other person's magic trail he focused on it until he was led to their mind. There was no shield and it was quiet easy for him to enter. He knew almost straight away that it was Potter who had found him after all. The thoughts were somewhat messy, he saw snapshots of the Gryffindor common room, conversations with various people, classes he'd attended that day. Homework he'd started on but then discarded.

Then he found himself going backwards in time. He could tell as the people were all getting younger. Still none of the images were interesting or made much sense to him. That was until they had passed the memory of Harry's first time on the Hogwarts Express. The letter from Hogwarts and the reaction of his relatives. It wasn't pretty. Still further back in time they went.

Memories of times spent in what appeared to be a broom cupboard, loud thumbing noises as his cousin trampled down the stairs. The dust that came loose and made him cough and sneeze. Throughout the memories he saw there were a few constants, his fat relatives, shovelling food in their mouths while Potter got little or nothing. His red faced relatives shouting at him, waggling their fingers in warning. And of course, the cupboard under the stairs. The darkness when he was being punished and had no light.

The few conversations he got to listen to were often the same; how he should be happy to have a roof over his head, how they had taken him in, out of the goodness of their hearts and how could he behave so badly rather than being thankful to them.

He tried to dig deeper to find more. To find something else. Something less... traumatic. As he dug deeper he suddenly started to feel a resistance. Of course this only encouraged him and he went on but all of a sudden he was kicked out of Potter's head. He was startled by the force of it and knew if he had been standing he'd likely have fallen backwards. As he was sitting, he merely braced himself with his hands, his eyes now wide open and staring at Potter, who sat only a few feet from him. His eyes closed, his head lowered and turned to the side, away from him.

Draco stared open mouthed, feeling both confused and shocked. He tried to access Potter's head again but his walls were strong and impenetrable. He was obviously skilled in Occlumency as well. But then why had he allowed his memories to be searched that way. It made no sense.

At long last Potter took a few deep breaths before opening his eyes and looking at Draco again. He smiled weakly. "I think I mentioned I had no one to talk to. Did I also mention I had no where else to go?"

"Why'd you show me all that?" Draco asked back.

"You wanted me to prove you could trust me. I figured by letting you see some of my memories I might actually achieve that. Or at least make you understand a little more, let you know you're not the only one with problems. My childhood wasn't as bad as it could have been but it wasn't exactly happy."

"But..." Draco shook himself, trying to sort his thoughts. "I didn't see any magic..."

Potter chuckled but it was a hollow sound. "No, you wouldn't have. The Dursley's can't do magic and they ignore its existence entirely. I'm a freak to them. As is every wizard or witch."

"Did you not have friends though? Someone... anyone to play with at least?"

"I was a nuisance to them, a servant in a way. Not a child that might have needs or dare I say desires. Actually, I learned not to want anything, never mind desire something. I just hoped one day things would get more bearable. We're not really hear to talk about me though, are we?"

"Well my troubles hardly compare..."

"We're not here to compare who had the worst childhood either though. I just wanted to show you that I know what it's like to be isolated. I hoped it would help you open up."

"So you can be a hero and make it go away?" Draco shook his head. "I don't think so."

"I may not be able to make it go away and it has nothing to do with that hero complex everyone keeps referring to. Sometimes talking about things helps, you know?"

"Have you talked about your childhood?" Draco asked with a raised eyebrow.

"A little." Potter just shrugged.

"And did it help?"

"Yes. It doesn't make it go away but I guess it eases the burden, if you like."

Draco stayed quite for a long time. He just looked out over the lake, watching the moon reflect on the water's surface. Eventually he said, "I don't think I'm ready to talk."

"Then you don't have to. We can sit in silence for a while if you want? Or we can talk about something else, something neutral?"

"Like how bad you are at potions?" Draco sneered.

"Oi! It's Snape's fault. He's a bad teacher!" Potter protested but had a hint of a smile on his face.

Having opened the box, they continued bantering both surprising themselves that it didn't turn into a full on fight but remained light hearted teasing. At some point Potter ended up sitting right next to Draco, an arm around him pulling him closer until the blonde's head was resting against his shoulder.

Having cast warming charms on themselves early on they stayed by the lake for a long time. Sometimes chatting, other times letting a comfortable silence surround them. Both thought at different points that it was odd how well they were getting on. Not just that they weren't fighting but that they were enjoying being in each other's company.

It was therefore with some reluctance that they parted. They'd already been out way beyond curfew and if discovered would likely serve detention until the end of the school year. Still, both thought it had been a good evening.

They walked back to the castle in silence and then parted ways to sneak back to their respective rooms. There were no smart parting words this time. No promise of meeting again, nor even an encouragement to do so. They gave each other a small smile, a slight nod maybe and then turned away.

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Get out of my way, Potter!" Draco said, shoving the accosted roughly aside with his shoulder.

Harry stood gaping after Draco for a moment, wondering what was going on. He'd thought that after they'd practically spent a night together that they were over the enmity but apparently he'd been wrong. Shaking his head he continued on his way to the next class, still somewhat lost in thought.

It had only been two days since that night by the lake and he'd been getting the same treatment since. It was getting somewhat tiring but he wasn't sure what to do about it. He kept going over it whenever he didn't have to focus on classes, making his head spin from the circles his thoughts were running in.

Several hours later, just after dinner he bumped into Draco once again. Luck seemed to be on his side as they were alone in the corridor. Draco once again tried to shove him aside but this time Harry grabbed his arm to stop him moving away.

"Do we really have to keep fighting, Draco?"

"Of course we do!" It was said scathingly as well as a little pityingly and yet not with as much force as was intended. There had been something in the Gryffindor's tone that didn't allow it. Did he really sound defeated?

"I thought after the other night... that we were becoming friends now." Harry said half questioningly.

"For Merlin's sake, Potter! I can't be seen to be friends with you! I have a reputation to protect. Besides what do you think my father would do if he found out?" Draco hissed looking around to make sure no one was around.

"Your reputation..." He said thoughtfully. "Is that part of your problem? How you are perceived?"

"No!" Draco groaned, rubbing a hand over his face in frustration.

"Your father then?"

"Look, I'm not going to discuss this now. Just leave me alone!" with that Draco tried to brushed past Harry but was held back.

"I'm not going to drop it so easily! Talk to me."

"Not here!" Draco hissed.

"Then meet me again tonight. Same time and place as last time." He offered insistently.

"I promise nothing." Draco replied neutrally and freed himself before stalking off.

Later that night, Draco found himself wandering to that same spot they'd been in before. It was late, the sun had long since set and the only light came from the moon, shining brightly from above. It was a near full moon, its size seemingly larger than normal, almost as if you could touch it. There was enough light that he found his way easily and as he approached the lake, he could already see a figure standing at its edge. He knew of course who it was. Few people were brave or foolish enough to wander out of the castle after night fall and way beyond curfew.

On his approach he made sure to break a few twigs and rustle a few leaves so he would be noticed and not startle the Gryffindor. Why he cared, he couldn't tell. When there was no reaction he just stood silently next to him. Now he knew the other man was staring straight at the moon, his head tilted back slightly. It was a beautiful night by anyone's standards.

"Why won't you leave me alone?" Draco sighed after what felt like hours of silence. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Potter turning his head a little. He didn't budge under the scrutiny.

"You obviously need a friend. Someone to be there for you, to do nothing other than listen and maybe give a little advice here or there."

"Bloody Gryffindor!" Draco said drily, with only the tiniest trace of a smile on his lips.

"Stubborn Slytherin!"

Draco sighed. "I can't help who I am."

Potter looked up almost startled. "But of course you can! You don't have to conform to your father's wishes. He doesn't own you, you're a free person. You're allowed to make your own decisions."

"Not if you're the heir of a pure-blood family that can trace its ancestors back at least a thousand years."

"Your father still cannot force you to do something against your will."

"Did you really choose to fight the Dark Lord?" Draco asked pointedly.

"I guess I didn't chose it as such. But I'm not being forced to do something I don't want to either. Plenty of people have said that I should not be put through it. I think if I really couldn't face up to the task, there would be ways. And anyway that's a totally different issue as it concerns the entire wizarding world not just one family."

"Any pure-blood wizard would disagree. There is nothing as important as continuing the bloodline." Draco just replied quietly.

"Well it's about time they woke up from their Middle-Age notions." Potter exclaimed somewhat exasperatedly.

"Harry..." He stopped himself, realising his error and let out a pained sigh.

"What's the last time someone gave you a hug?"

Draco looked up startled, wondering where that question had come from. When he looked at Potter, his look was questioning but gentle. There was no hidden danger or deceit. Reading people was his speciality, as Slytherin it was an essential skill to have and he prided himself on his level of the ability. Then again The-Boy-Who-Lived did not hide his emotions well at the best of times.

"So?"

He shrugged. Could he even remember the last time he'd been hugged?"

"I figured that emotions don't play much of a role in your family. But no physical contact either?"

"I guess it was my mother."

"When?"

"What does it matter? Why are you asking me this?" Draco asked angrily, his eyes flashing at Potter.

"Beside air, food and water, social contact is a necessity for humans. And I don't meant stiffly sitting drinking cups of tea, having forced conversations about totally irrelevant things, or whatever other way pure-bloods socialise. I mean physical contact. The need to be hugged."

"So what's the last time you've been hugged?" Draco asked back, hoping to distract Potter who was looking at him with an unsettling, not to say alarming expression.

"Barely a couple of hours ago. Hermione worries quite a bit... But stop distracting, I asked about you first."

That look was getting worse and Draco actually found himself taking a step to the side when Potter turned fully towards him. "I... I don't..."

Potter suddenly started grinning and then nearly leapt on top of him. He could feel two strong arms winding around him even as he was trying to get away. Potter was too strong though and he was being held tightly, pressed against a strong chest, his arms hanging limply at his sides. He was too uncomfortable like this, it didn't seem right. Did it?

"Go on, Draco. Wrap your arms around me." Potter whispered into his ear, the warm breath tickling his skin. When nothing happened Potter let go of Draco just long enough to take his hands and wrapped them around his waist. Then he went back to wrapping his arms tightly around the blond. "Draco... relax!" He said gently. "This doesn't hurt, does it?"

He managed to shake his head but he was still stood frozen to the spot. His arms were still around Potter, he tried to move them but it was like they were refusing to listen. Very slowly, as time went by he felt himself relaxing. It was very gradual and he was still hoping Potter would let go soon but while he waited something inside him changed. It was so gradual he didn't even notice until it had happened. His arms had tightened their grip a little, his hands were now lying flat against the Gryffindor's back and he had leaned his head against Potter's shoulder, just in the crook of his neck.

The moment he realised, he tried to pull away but was stopped by the strong arms still wrapped around him. They didn't budge a single inch. "You're staying right here until I say otherwise." Potter chuckled quietly. "You're already relaxing but not enough yet. I can still sense the tension."

"Maybe that's something else you're thinking off!" Draco found himself joking.

"Why, a joke from Draco Malfoy himself! We are getting somewhere. Very good!" He giggled a little but then placed a kiss on the side of Draco's neck that he could reach. "Maybe further down the road we can explore other options to relief tension but not yet."

Draco was about to protest but then thought better of it. They let silence descend over them again and many more minutes passed. As they stood there, silent and unmoving they could have been mistaken for a statue. At least until Draco felt the hands on his back starting to move, trailing up and down his back.

"You said last time you're not ready to talk. If you still aren't that's fine, I won't force you. But I figure there's quite a few things bothering you. Maybe you can find something to tell me tonight. Something small maybe?" Potter's voice was still gentle, encouraging rather than taunting.

Draco didn't reply straight away. In fact he took a long time to consider this offer. There wasn't even a hint of frustration or impatience at his lack of response which eventually encouraged him to answer. "I keep having nightmares."

After another extended silence Potter carefully prodded. "About?"

"The Dark Lord, Death Eaters, becoming one myself... torture, blood, pain..." Draco spoke slowly, tensing more with each word. He prepared himself, expecting to be ridiculed or laughed at.

Yet the reaction he got was quite different. "I dream about him too." It was a faint whisper, full of barely concealed emotions. "There's no shame in it. It's a scary time for everyone, some more than others." He continued stroking Draco's back soothingly. "Sometimes I wake up screaming... I've learned to cast a Muffliato before going to sleep."

Draco stayed quiet for a time to consider this new information. When he eventually replied he had a hint of amusement in his voice. "The Boy-Who-Lived has nightmares... wakes up screaming even! Not very Gryffindor after all, is it? Never thought I'd live to hear the Golden Boy be less than perfect."

"Guess there's much you don't know about me. It's not uncommon. Most people can't see behind the things they've heard or read about me. Few take the time to get to know me, the REAL me."

"And who is the real Harry Potter?" Draco asked trying to sound uncaring but actually finding that he wanted to know.

"You're getting to know him. Slowly... just like I'm slowly getting to know the real Draco Malfoy. The one behind the Malfoy mask of superiority."

"I am superior!" Draco immediately protested.

"No, Draco. Not really. We're all humans and we're all equals. We all suffer from nightmares sometimes, we all need to feel loved, we all have dreams and hopes that we work to accomplish."

Draco was about to make a cutting remark but Potter interrupted him.

"I know you feel differently. I know that even if you wanted to agree with me, years of brainwashing aren't overcome easily. You have your opinions and I guess you are entitled to them. This is probably a subject we should just agree to disagree on for now. I don't want us to be arguing."

"Not very likely now, is it?" Draco sneered.

"It could be. I may have rejected you before but I'm offering my friendship now. It's you who keeps on fighting and I wish I knew how to make you stop."

This time when Draco tried to pull out of the embrace he was allowed to. He stood back a little to look at Potter, almost as though he were trying to weigh him. "We've always been fighting!"

"That's hardly a good reason to continue. Especially considering the change of circumstances. We obviously get on well, at least to a certain degree. We have some things in common. Most prominently that we both know what it's like to be alone with no one to talk to. I think if we both made an effort, we could stop the fighting."

"Why is that so important to you?"

"I hate fighting."

"That's it?" Draco asked almost incredulous.

Potter shrugged. "Do I need more of a reason? I guess I also think that we can both get more out of actually being friends than enemies."

"You're a Gryffindor, I'm a Slytherin. Our houses don't get on! How do you expect us to get on?"

"But we have been getting on! Every time we meet alone we're fine. It's just in front of others that we seem to be fighting. I don't expect us to be best mates or anything. But if we could at least stop the harsh words..."

"I think you're crazy, Potter!" Draco shook his head thoughtfully. Then looking around he realised the moon had moved quite a distance while they'd been outside. "It's time to get back." He noted and was about to turn away when a hand on his wrist stopped him.

"I know this will be difficult, but please try...?"

They both knew what he meant. Draco looked at him a moment then shrugged. There was no way he was committing to not fighting, it would be too difficult. When the hand around his wrist loosened its hold he pulled free and walked away.

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: To all those that have reviewed and encouraged me to write on this, this is for you! I hope you like :)_

_I'm going to be changing the title of this story. Unexpected Confidant fitted the first chapter but not so much where this is heading. I've been agonising over what to call it for a while and I've now decided on "In The Fight For... For What?"  
>I'd love to know what you think of it! and what you think of the new chapter of course :)<br>_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

When Draco woke up the next morning, it was a slow, gradual process. Before he was really fully aware of anything around him he stretched his tired limbs, absently noting that he was alone in bed, which was not unusual really. Then came the realisation that he was feeling content and he opened his eyes, blinking in surprise. He felt rested. He hadn't woken once during the night, hadn't woken up soaked in sweat like he had been for weeks, months even.

After a quick check of the time he found that it was indeed the morning. Looking around he tried to figure out if something was different but there wasn't anything. Peeking out between the curtains of his four-poster bed he found the rest of his dorm still fast asleep, the occasional snores the only sound in the room.

Lying back down he let out a little sigh. His first full night's sleep, without the use of a potion, in months. It promised to be a good day. Maybe there was hope for him yet. Crossing his arms behind his head he stared up at the ceiling, letting his thoughts drift. There were no lingering memories of nightmares so he could turn his thoughts to more pleasant subjects. There was a Quidditch match coming up this weekend, Slytherin – Ravenclaw. He was certain they'd win it. It was Gryffindor that was always tricky, thanks to one Harry Potter...

With that thought came the memories of the previous night; Potter's insistence that they stop fighting. He didn't see how that would be possible considering that he couldn't let his house know that he had been getting on with the Golden Boy. His reputation was all he really had. He couldn't lose it or he would have nothing left.

Far heavier on his mind weight the hug. Not just any odd hug where you have your arms half casually around another person's body. No, this had been a proper hug, fully-wrapped-in-each-other's-arms type of hug. And it wasn't just a moment either, they'd been standing that way for many minutes.

He was loath to admit it and would certainly never do so in front of Potter but he couldn't remember ever having been hugged that way. He knew that when he was younger his parents had shown their affection more. There were pictures to prove it. But it was so long ago he couldn't seem to remember. These days it was only his mother that still hugged him on occasion. A brief hug at the Hogwarts Express to say goodbye or welcome him home; a short hug and maybe a little kiss to his cheek or forehead on his birthday; if he was lucky he would get to hug her on other special occasions such as her own birthday or holidays.

Hardly comparable to what had transpired the night before. It had been so alien at first, he hadn't known what to do or how to handle the situation. But he couldn't deny how good it had felt after a while. He hadn't been so relaxed in a very long time, almost as though none of his troubles really mattered. He wondered if that had anything to do with his dreamless sleep. He shook his head to try and get rid of that thought. It simply couldn't be, the Boy-Who-Lived responsible for his first fully nights sleep in months? It didn't bare thinking about.

Sitting up he decided to go get a shower. The others would be waking soon and he might as well take a shower before the bathroom rush started, seeing as he was awake anyway.

Draco had been right in his prediction that it would be a good day. For the first time in months he wasn't tired during lessons, he wasn't distracted by lingering memories that haunted him. Instead he found his mind more focused than ever. He used his free periods to finish his homework that had been lagging behind so much recently. During mealtimes he found himself enjoying his food again. Off late it had merely been a necessity, something that he had to do rather than something he wanted to do.

Of course, there was hardly any chance of not seeing Potter and they bumped into each other a few times. The first time Draco ignored him entirely, pretending instead to be wrapped up in a conversation with his friends. The second time he'd thrown him a casual look, not filled with hatred and his usual array of superiority.

The next time they bumped into each other they were alone in the corridor. He had felt himself freeze in a panic. Normally he wouldn't have hesitated to draw his wand and insult or threaten the Gryffindor but today was different. There was no explanation for it, at least none that made sense to him.

As if in slow motion he saw Potter walking towards him. His own steps had slowed down off their own accord. When they were only a few feet from each other Potter spoke. "Hi Draco." It was almost infuriating the way he kept using his first name. But the voice was so gentle, he couldn't be mad. Instead he found himself replying with a shy "hi". Then he shook himself out of his trance and hurried off before he could do anything more embarrassing.

They found themselves in the same corridor a few more times. While they didn't speak again, they threw each other looks that spoke of a change if anyone had cared to pay attention.

One time they met it was just Potter with his friends and Draco with his. Normally a perfect opportunity for some harassment and Pansy couldn't resist, immediately making mudblood comments.

Draco noticed the look in Potter's eyes. While he couldn't explain it, it made him stop Pansy. Quickly thinking on his feet he came up with an excuse and dragged her away, ignoring her protests. It wasn't until he heard the Weasel trying to slag him that the thought of a fight even occurred to him. He'd already turned his back but those words stopped him. Turning around he raised his wand and growled dangerously.

Before he could really act though, he noticed both Potter and Granger laying into the Weasel not to provoke him. With a comment about listening to them both he turned around again and stalked off, ignoring the questions Pansy threw at him.

That night when Draco lay in bed his thoughts once again drifted to the night before. He had had a really good day as he hadn't been feeling tired or cranky, both emotions he was loath to cover up. What surprised him the most was that after the first couple of encounters with Potter he hadn't even had the desire to fight with him. He wondered if Potter had been right. They had been getting on, maybe they really no longer had to fight. Maybe they had reached a point where they were doing it out of habbit rather than anything else.

His last thoughts before he drifted off where once again about the hug and whether he would be granted another night without nightmares.

As it was, his wish of another peaceful night was not granted. However, his nightmare this time was not of its usual nasty kind but rather a milder version of it. When he woke up again it wasn't from his own screams. He still sat up in bed though, his heart beating frantically as though it was trying to escape his chest.

When he had reassured himself that he was perfectly safe he lay back down with a sigh. Grabbing his wand he cast a quick cleaning charm to get rid of his sweat. Then he checked the time and found out that the night was in fact nearly over. It was a bit too early to get up but it was also too late to go back to sleep.

While his night hadn't been as good as the previous one, he had slept through it, rather than waking several times before the morning. He also didn't feel as haunted as he had in recent weeks after waking up. All in all, still a surprisingly good night. He spent a few minutes just lying staring at the ceiling, letting his thoughts drift.

He had tried many different things to get rid of his dreams. He researched spells but found no useful ones. He'd tried potions, which, thankfully, did help. In the beginning he'd asked Pomfrey but to keep going to her would cause more questions and therefore more trouble than it was worth. And he knew he couldn't ask his head of house. He didn't want to imagine what could happen if Snape knew; it was only a step away from his father knowing and that was out of the question. So he'd started brewing the potion himself but he had to get the ingredients for that first. After awhile it had been noticed what had gone missing and he had to stop to avoid being found out. Snape had almost caught him once.

There was no way he wanted to explain to Severus Snape or any one else that he kept having nightmares. He could barely explain what had made him tell Potter. Telling anyone else was entirely out of the question. But that meant he had run out of ways to stop the nightmares. He tried to deal with them as best he could but weeks without proper sleep took their toll. He'd even nearly fallen asleep in class once and that was just not acceptable.

After that little incident he had taken his last potion. He'd been saving it for when it got too bad and he'd reached that point. He still didn't dare trying to brew more in case he was found out. Now if he was right, he had found another way. Then again it was impossible. He didn't think that the conversation had done the trick, it must have been the hug. He'd felt it relax him, it was the only explanation.

But there was no way he would ever ask Potter for anything. Especially not something that would put him in such a weak position. He was going to have to figure out a way that would get him what he needed without actually making it apparent. It would be tricky and test his skills to the maximum, he knew. But even an occasional relief from his nightmares would be worth it. And he knew he couldn't ask any of his friends, they wouldn't understand and they would use it against him. At least Potter would likely be too noble to actually use his weakness, if he even realised it was one.

The rest of the day passed mostly as the previous one had. He wasn't in as good a mood but still good enough. He got through his classes without problems and was fit enough to get his homework done quickly with time to spare for research and planning. Much of his free time was used trying to find a way to get Potter to do what he wanted him to do.

The few times they bumped into each other he made an effort to be civil without being obvious. Knowing that he needed something from Potter he would give him a little something too. Potter wanted them to stop fighting so he would at least try it and see how long he could cope. Of course, he would do so without risking his reputation, a tricky line to walk but he wasn't a Malfoy for nothing.

He'd already managed to walk the line today when his friends had once again tried to harass the Gryffindors. Yet, when they had met alone, he'd been nice, to a point at least. No one could expect a miracle after all.

As the week continued his nightmares grew worse and his nights shorter. It was only a few days more and he was back to his usual nights of waking several times, always soaked in sweat, always screaming. He felt himself getting crankier again and as the lack of sleep started to take it's toll, he once again reverted to using a glamour to hide behind.

He still made an effort not to fight with Potter but it became more difficult. Little things riled him and he couldn't always control his temper. When others started the fights, he couldn't always seem to find the energy to stop or deflect it. When they were alone, he'd mostly ignore Potter, not certain that if he spoke it wouldn't be abuse leaving his mouth.

Somehow he seemed to have done something to anger Potter anyway. Because one day when they bumped into each other in an empty corridor he found himself roughly manoeuvred into a dark alcove.

"What are you doing, Potter?" He snapped harshly, trying to take his wand out but finding his wrists grabbed roughly and pressed into the wall above his head. He immediately started writhing to free himself.

"I'm doing what's best for you." Potter just said and held both Draco's hand with one of his own. His now free hand went for his wand and he cast a quick Disilusionment Charm to make sure they wouldn't be noticed. They could both already hear people approaching. Then he cast another spell, locking Draco's wrists together into invisible handcuffs and tying his legs so he couldn't kick. "This may be rather unorthodox but I'm doing this for your own good." He said in what he must have hoped to be a placative way, yet Draco just felt more annoyed.

It wasn't until he felt Potter's arms sneaking around his waist to pull him close against that strong chest that he felt himself calming down. Potter wasn't trying to hurt him after all, he was just trying to hug him again. He nearly laughed at the absurdity of the situation. But as his head came in contact with Potter's shoulder he just wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling them closer together.

"I'm glad you're not fighting me now." Potter said after a little while and Draco felt the handcuffs around his wrists vanish along with the hold on his legs.

All he did in response was move even closer and get more comfortable. When Potter started stroking his back Draco found himself sighing in what he realised to be contentment. It was followed by a wave of disgust at his own weakness but he pushed that away quickly.

"I know you've also been making an effort not to fight me in general. So I thought I'd show my appreciation and gratitude. I hope you like the way I chose to show you."

Draco chuckled. "By assaulting me in the middle of a corridor? Dragging me into a corner and... what? Trying to debauch and corrupt me?"

Potter laughed. "I like it when you relax. You're much more fun then. Do you want me to corrupt you?"

"Don't be getting ideas above your station!" Draco snorted. "I'm out of your league!"

"Yes, I should have known, the proud pure-blood would never lower himself to the attentions of a half-blood and blood traitor. I shall be doomed to always watching from the wings..." He sighed dramatically but started laughing when Draco hit him over the head.

"You're quite an oddball, aren't you?"

"No more than most people in this school are. Including yourself, oh mighty pure-blood."

Draco shook his head, at least tried to, considering it was still resting on Potter's shoulder. He considered replying but decided against it. Instead he focused on those strong arms still holding him against a strong chest, his back still being stroked comfortingly. The thought occurred to him that he should probably feel violated at being treated like a child but it seemed such an odd thought he dismissed it again. Even if he was being treated like a child, it was too good to stop it.

With his eyes closed, he inhaled deeply. Each breath he took seemed to remove him from what had been bothering him only minutes before. There was no space for nightmares or the lingering feelings they always left behind. There was just... freedom. Just as he startled himself with that realisation Potter started pulling away a little.

"I'm sorry, Draco but we'll have to go to class again soon."

He nodded and then slowly lifted his head and pulled out of the embrace.

"Be good." Potter grinned then waved his wand to finish the Disillusionment Charm. With a last smiled he hurried down the corridor while it was empty.

For a few more moments Draco stood leaning against the wall trying to figure out what happened. But his mind was too clouded, it couldn't seem to focus on anything for long. So eventually he gave up and made his way to his next class.

At least he could hope for another night of no dreams.

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: this chapter is dedicated to winglessheartscan'tfly, thank you!_

Chapter 5

Ever since their encounter in the bathroom, after Draco had lost control of himself, Harry had been watching him from afar. It was mostly curiosity in the beginning but as he felt them getting closer it was also with growing concern. He'd been watching him so closely that he could see little differences in his looks and actions.

He'd noticed that after one of their chats the Slytherin would seem in a better mood, almost happier in a sense. It never lasted very long but it was there so he kept going. Then after the first hug he'd seen a major change. When Draco had come for breakfast the next morning he had almost been radiant, his smile had been brighter and more genuine, a sparkle in his eyes had made him seem less cold.

Then he'd watched as gradually over the next few days Draco reverted back to his more subdued self. Every day a little more until the greyness once again vanished to be replaced by the façade he'd seen before. He had straight away known it was a façade because there was no sparkle in Draco's eyes and his smile lacked the honesty he had noticed on previous days.

He had a suspicion what the cause of the short spell of brighter days had been. In order to know for sure he'd taken Draco aside one day and given him a hug. It was between classes so he hadn't had much time but the opportunity had presented itself and he hadn't been able to resist it.

As expected Draco had seemed much brighter again the next day, only to slowly start reverting back to greyness another day later. Now that he was certain, Harry had made a plan. His next step was getting Draco on his own again, they needed to talk.

It was after yet another encounter with Draco and his friends just as the Slytherins were walking away that Harry saw his chance. He'd been carrying a note with him, just waiting for the right moment. With a silent spell he moved the note into Draco's hand, glad to see those pale finger curling around it, holding on to it. Then he saw Draco throw a look over his shoulder and he winked at him, ignoring the sneer he received for his troubles.

A couple of hours later Harry stood in the bathroom where he had first found Draco. He'd already been waiting a while but that was to be expected. Being a Malfoy Draco would never be early, rather than being the one waiting he would always be the one to make others wait for him. Harry could accept that, so long as the blond would show up eventually.

So when after what felt like eternity the door opened and Draco walked in, Harry felt a wave of relief. For a moment he didn't speak and just stood smiling at Draco, who in turn just stood, leaning against the closed door, glaring at him.

"Draco. I'm glad you came. Wasn't sure you would." Harry eventually said.

Draco just shrugged.

"I've been watching you this past week." While talking Harry walked closer, until he stood right in front of Draco. "I've seen the difference in you. You felt better after our last chat but now... it's worse again, isn't it?"

"What makes you think that?"

"You're wearing a glamour."

"How do you know that?" Draco asked in obvious astonishment.

"I just know." Harry shrugged. "There's only a few things I know about you. One of them is that no matter how bad things are, you would never willingly ask for help. I don't want to imagine how bad it would have to be before you relented. So I'm gonna give you a way out. I'm going to insist that we meet at least once a day. It doesn't have to be long, we don't have to talk. All we have to do is hug. And to make it easier on your conscience, it's me that wants these hugs. You're the one granting me a wish or favour or whatever else you want to call it, so it'll be me in your debt." Harry stopped to let his words sink in. Even though it was difficult to read Draco, he knew that the wheels were turning. He just hoped that the blond would accept.

For a long time neither of them spoke. The only sound in the room was that of their regular breathing. Draco was staring at Harry intently, studying him to try and figure out any between-the-line-bits. But he couldn't find any flaws. It almost appeared that the Golden Boy knew him better than he had ever expected.

"So... YOU want ME to meet you on a daily basis so that YOU can hug ME?" Draco asked sceptically after a while.

"That's it."

"No conditions? No hidden anything?"

"None."

"You're not going to tell anyone about it? About any of it?" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Anything that happens between us, anything that is said or done will stay only between the two of us."

"And if I do this, you will owe me a debt? Something to repay how I choose?"

"Well... you are a Slytherin. I can't possibly say I'll do whatever you want, Merlin knows what you'd come up with! But if it's a reasonable request and within my power I will do it, yes."

"Why?" Draco asked incredulously.

"I'm here as your friend, Draco. I want to help you, which is obviously something that you would never accept. So instead I'm here to ask for YOUR help. I want to be able to hug you and hold you, for a little while at least. It would make me feel better."

"If you weren't such a do-gooder I would have to wonder if they put you in the right house..."

Harry chuckled. "One day I'll tell you a little secret about that."

Draco narrowed his eyes and looked at Harry suspiciously but he only got a shrug and grin. "So how would this work? When and where do we meet?"

"I'd say the best option is probably to meet in here. It's in the middle between Gryffindor Tower and the Dungeons. It's not used so we won't be interrupted. As for time... probably a while after dinner but before curfew."

"And you agree we won't talk?"

"I'm not saying there won't be any talking at all. But I certainly won't force you to say anything." Harry paused for a moment, then asked. "So will you agree?"

"How long will this go for? I mean, if I want out at some point, you won't hold me to this?"

"I can't let you off the hook that easily. You have to meet me at least 10 times in the first two weeks otherwise no debt. After that time, if you want out, we'll discuss it. If you refuse to meet me I can't make you though. Either way you lose nothing."

"Fine... I guess I'll agree then." Draco said grudgingly.

"Give me a hug to seal the deal then." Harry said and had to fight to not break out in a grin.

Draco stared at him wide eyed for a moment before pushing himself away from the door with a sigh and opening his arms. Harry immediately stepped closer and they wrapped their arms around each other.

With his head hidden in Draco's shoulder Harry allowed himself to smile. He hadn't expected Draco to give in so quickly but was pleased all the more for it. "Now that you're here you might as well tell me a little more... about your nightmares let's say."

Draco tried to protest and pull away but it was a futile attempt. He was being held tightly.

"I think you know the drill by now. You stay here until I say otherwise. And today I want you to tell me something more about what's wrong. Before that happens I'm not letting you go." Even though his words could have been threatening, Harry said them in a way that they were almost soothing instead.

"I hate you..." Draco sighed in resignation.

"No one asked you to love me. You're just supposed to talk to me." Harry chuckled. After stroking Draco's back in silence for a few moments he continued. "So tell me about your nightmares. You dream about the Death Eaters? What do they do?"

"What do you think?" Draco hissed, barely stopping himself from rolling his eyes. "They torture!"

Harry could feel Draco tensing in his arms and just tightened his hold a little more. Then he gently asked, "whom?"

Draco took a deep breath before answering. "Depends... muggles... wizards, witches... me..." The last word was so quiet Harry barely heard it but he did and it made his heart ache.

He could feel Draco trembling in his arms and suspected that his legs would give out soon. So he led him away from the door and sat down leaning against the wall, taking Draco with him so he was sitting between his legs. Holding him tightly against his chest he started stroking a hand through Draco's hair hoping to soothe him. "Why you?" He gently asked after a while.

Draco choked out a desperate laugh. "Why me? Why not? No one is safe... They hate me... there's a million reasons...!"

"And your father?"

"Not there."

Harry wondered whether to prod further. It wasn't enough of an answer for his liking but he didn't want to push Draco. After a while the decision was taken from him when Draco continued.

"I think he's with...You-Know-Who... But father never actually appears in the dreams. It's always the others. They... they sc..." He trailed off choking back a sob.

"Sshh it's alright. You're safe here." Harry mumbled trying to soothe Draco. He gave him a little time to compose himself before gently asking, "Has anything like it ever actually happened?"

Draco couldn't answer, instead he choked back another sob. Harry figured he had his answer and it worried him. He also realised he wasn't likely to get anything else out of Draco. So instead he just held him tightly, whispering soothing words while at the same time stroking his back and head in hope of giving some comfort.

For a long time they just sat in silence except for the occasional sounds from Draco while he fought for control. When he had eventually calmed down Draco wiped his eyes with a sleeve. He was annoyed with himself because he'd been so emotional but his attempts to fight it had been useless. He gave himself a few more minutes to collect his cool. While he waited, he realised for the first time that he was sitting cradled in Potter's arms, head resting against his shoulder, both hands oddly wrapped into Potter's robe. He also realised that his back was being stroked, as had happened before. But the really astounding matter was that Potter was stroking his hair.

"I'm not a pet, you know?" He couldn't help but remark, his voice only holding a small amount of annoyance.

"Excuse me?" Harry asked back in confusion. He was surprised that the silence had been broken so suddenly and he didn't understand what Draco meant.

"You're petting me! Stroking my hair..." Draco pointed out, somewhat incredulously.

"Oh..." Harry stopped what he was doing, looking at his hand still tangled in Draco's blond strands. "I didn't really realise. I just wanted to... comfort I guess."

"You did. But you had better not mention it to anyone, ever! And don't presume I'll always let you do it."

Harry chuckled. "I wouldn't dare. I'm glad to know you're feeling better now though."

"I do." And with that Draco pulled away from Harry and stood up, stretching his muscles that had become a little sore from staying in the same position for too long.

Harry followed his example and stood up as well, watching Draco while he stretched. When the blond headed for the door he spoke. "I'll see you tomorrow then. Say an hour after dinner?"

Draco looked confused for a moment but then remembered the deal he'd agreed to. He rolled his eyes and shrugged before heading out of the room.

Harry let out a quiet sigh. They'd come far but no where near far enough. He really hoped that Draco would show up the next day. There were so many questions he wanted to ask. Two weeks, he realised, may not be enough.


End file.
